Being kind, Mesh Head updates & MBA Bi-Monthly!

Hi MAddicts!

I have a question for all of you… why aren’t we kinder to one another? I understand our opinions differ, as do our religions, our beliefs and all underpinning knowledge that we have… but why can’t we get along?

Now, admittedly I’m talking in a much bigger context than SL, but the same question applies in our virtual world. Since I joined SL, I’ve seen people fight against each other, hurt and act cruelly to each other – and this isn’t more true than in the case of designers. Designers hating on each other, consumers hating on designers… designers hating on consumers! It doesn’t matter what direction you look, it’s happening, and perhaps it’s naive of me, but part of me wants to drag everyone into a room and simply say ‘Why??’.

Yes SL is for the large part, anonymous…. yes, it’s easier to be cruel when you don’t acknowledge there’s another person there I suppose, at least for some, but that still doesn’t say why we feel it’s necessary. For many designers in SL, this is their income, their livelihood… and they work long, tedious hours to make that livelihood a reality, could that be why? Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs tells us very simply that at our very core are our Physiological Needs – the need to be safe, have food and water… survive. For those that use SL to make money to survive, perhaps this is where the fight, the need to attack, comes from… they feel their very security is at risk. If this is the case (in which case, go you Maslow) then why threaten our own security, or in a designer’s case, his/her own income, by wasting time attacking another person, knowing they could fall into disrepute?

I know – not very mesh body focused today – just some thoughts I felt like getting out 🙂

Now, onto a much brighter topic, Lelutka’s mesh heads have been updated to include expressions!!! Yaaay! So if you don’t get a redelivery sent to you, head over to their store and get one! The new HUD (with the new 3 eye, 4 eyebrow and 7 mouth expressions) is pictured below!

Hud V1.2

In addition to the excitement of the Lelutka head update, is the excitement about the Catwa head update! The new version (4.2) includes a Teeth HUD (you read that right). You can have everything from gappy teeth to chipped teeth AND there are some save slots in there which hopefully is a sign that designers will be able to make teeth options for us to purchase! It seems odd to get excited about teeth, but Catwa is really leading the way with her mesh heads, giving us more in the way of animation and customisation that we’ve seen so far – so I am very excited to see what’s coming from them in the future as well. Plus, on top of it all, Belleza has released a mesh head applier skin, Keira, for Catwa mesh heads!! I’m wearing the skin in the picture above, and she is STUNNING – I haven’t been able to take it off!

Well MAddicts, now you have it all – my ponderings, Maslow’s thoughts (albiet post mortem) and Meshy Head goodness! The only other thing to add is that of course, MBA Bi-Monthly is now on, and if you haven’t been over there yet you need to!! The picture in this post features the work of the extremely talented Annie from Just Because – this lingerie is not only so well made, but fits like a dream on all of the Belleza’s, Maitreya and Slink, so definitely check it out at the event!!

<3 Daria

I’m wearing:
Mesh Body – Freya by Belleza
Mesh Head – Jessica V4.2 by Catwa
Skin – Keira by Belleza (Catwa head applier)
Hair – Bewitched by Exile
Headpiece – Catrina Rosas by Glam Affair (available at Collabor88)
Lingerie – Erika lingerie by Just Because (Available at Mesh Body Addicts Bi-Monthly) – Includes Belleza (all), Maitreya & Slink sizes
Pose – Nina 03 by {Imkea}
Location – Serein

14 thoughts on “Being kind, Mesh Head updates & MBA Bi-Monthly!

  1. I agree completely with you about some individuals in Second Life thinking that it is ok to be rude and inconsiderate or just down right hateful. In the real world you act like that you get jailed for stalking, fired from a job for mouthing off etc. I am sure alot of individuals in Second Life feel this way. It is truly ashamed that alot of people bring their problems intensified and alot of us are here to relax in a virtural world.

  2. Trolls do it to amuse themselves at their victims’ reactions, and the rest do it mostly out of insecurity –they’re not truly convinced they’re any good, so they need to reinforce their egos by exaggerating them.

  3. It’s interesting that this post is the first thing I saw as I logged in today, because just last night I was feeling very sad about the rudeness and lack of empathy that I see in all virtual worlds, not just SL. I think it seems more prevalent in SL because of the sheer number of people. Sadly, this type of behavior extends to most every online social medium, whether it be a virtual world, Facebook, Google+, or just a random forum. I’m inclined to agree with most of the theories mentioned here–no consequences…it’s easy to forget you’re dealing with human emotions when you’re basically looking at a ‘cartoon’, and you know there isn’t much that can (or will) be done for bad behavior; others do it just for the thrill of getting a rise out of people, and let’s face it, there are more than plenty that are far too willing and ready to play the role of victim; and I believe, as Ren mentioned, insecurity and miserable lives outside of virtual worlds leads to a lot of it, perhaps most. Even in our first lives, negativity, anger, etc., generally lead to the very same rude, thoughtless behavior. One thing about this type of behavior in virtual worlds is that word of mouth is so much stronger and far-reaching than in first life, and for merchants, can and does have an extremely strong impact on the success (and failure) of business.

    • Great points – especially in relation to human emotions. We’re all people, and the work we put into SL (designer, creator, blogger, helpful person or otherwise) is tremendous as a community. We should embrace the good and not dwell on the bad perhaps – people who play the victim can be as harmful as those who victimise.

    • Yes it seems to be a general aspect of our global society.
      I chalk it down to the same factors driving modern American Conservatism. The fear of change as privilege changes or appears to change. People having to share a space that was formerly theirs alone, resist that change by becoming toxic towards others.

      This is not just an online thing – but online obviously we can’t ‘hide behind our geography’ as well.

      I don’t think it has anything to do with consequence, or Facebook would be the most polite place on Earth. Pretty much everything you do and have done towards you on Facebook is seen by your entire faith, social, familial, and professional communities. You can’t get higher consequence than that.

      I do NOT think it has much to do with insecurity and miserable lives outside of a platform – or we would see vastly MORE hostility than we do because lets face it, SL is full of people living in at risk situations. Poor, abuse, health, etc. Yet if you meet them these are the NICE people in SL. The ones seeking and giving compassion.

      Studies have shown in fact that the more wealth and power a person has, the more hostile and abusive, and the more likely to cheat and steal, they become – especially if they can see that they have more than those around them. The actual wealth and stability doesn’t drive them to be evil – but the perception that they have more than their peers does. This has come out in study after study over recent years.
      example among many:
      – Can’t find a story they had on the radio last week that repeated this with a game where they had some participants able to see how much of the resource they had less or more than others – and the results changed dramatically when people KNEW they were doing better, but only slightly when they were just better but couldn’t be sure. And player conduct in terms of rude behavior, cheating, etc were driven by this as well.

      Being ‘miserable’ doesn’t make people bad. Thinking you are better than others does.

  4. I think people in SL forget several things.
    1.) Creating quality product is hard work that takes a lot of time.
    2.) The money most creators make from selling their products is not that much compared to RL expenses, so many have RL jobs too that take their time.
    3.) Many people in SL have serious RL issues to deal with. They may have a physical or psychological disability. They may be caring for a loved one with a disability or dealing with a recent death or other major issues. The also might also be stressed out from their RL jobs & etc.
    4.) When a creator makes something in SL, this is a gift of their time, money (for land & building components), energy and creativity to the rest of the SL community. We are free to buy it or not, but it’s rude to criticize their honest effort to make something nice for us.
    5.) To creators who hate on their customers: I realize that some people can be rude jerks, but that doesn’t mean we’re all like that. Many of us don’t have much money to spend, so we should be appreciative of your group gifts, hunt prizes & discounts, but not spending more money doesn’t mean we don’t care about the work you put into your creations or the money you spend on having an inworld shop.

    • I hear you Persephone. SL is an outlet of many forms for most people, and the amount of work that goes into content creation is HUGE. We can’t paint everyone with the same brush, because most customers are lovely and most designers are amazing people <3

  5. The opposite has been my experience in SL. I am constantly thinking how well we all get along with avis that look so different. Some with elf ears, horns, coloured skins, different stages of development. How people are helpful towards newcomers and how most people are welcoming to everyone at gigs and sims. Im not blind. Of course there are a few people who want to be destructive but I just shrug my shoulders and let them rave or go somewhere else. Its so easy in SL, lots of places to go and have fun. I think SL teaches us tolerance.

  6. A thought provoking post, and the comments are also thoughtful. My experience of SL is for the most part a very positive one, however that stems a lot from the sense of community I enjoy with a group of friends. There are some amazing groups in SL, and within those there are usually some core group of individuals that work hard to maintain a sense of community and to deal with dissension or difficulties – these are my SL heroes :), those that foster that community spirit and manage to help people make worthwhile contributions. I’m saddened to hear that there is such a level of dissension in the creator community, but I wonder if this is also in part due to the difficulty of maintaining forums where a real sense of community can evolve for creators? I’m not in that group (creators) but I have seen that its much less likely that people be abusive to others you know and meet regularly (family excluded ;p) than to people you only know through reputation. More community, more ways to allow people with like interests to come together and participate, to meet and understand each other; I think this would help. Maybe fewer shopping events and more “meet the creator” events might be a workable way to achieve this. (Ok, no, not really serious on the fewer shopping events..)

    W x

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